What Lies Within A Lie?
"A lie is an intentionally false statement. To lie is to say something one believes to be false with the intention it be take for truth"
What strikes me the most about this description is that there is no mention of the issue of omission. When we intentionally omit to tell someone something because we think they won't like it or they will read too much into it, does that constitute a lie?
It was assumed that he was at home the whole day, but in fact, he went out with someone else. His loved one didn't specifically ask him where he was and he intentionally didn't offer the info. Is that a lie?
She said she was out having a grand time with a group of friends and names some of them when she is relating the story, but intentionally leaves out one or two that may raise a few questions. Is that a lie?
He said he did all these things today, but intentionally missed out a few extra stops he made along the way. Is that a lie?
I'm pretty sure that it happens all the time, to everyone. People do it because they subscribe to the adage "what they don't know won't hurt them". And 9 out of 10 times that is probably true. But the hurt felt for that 1 time when the truth is accidentally revealed is, in most cases, more than enough to negate the remaining 9 times when ignorance truly is bliss.
And yet it continues.
Those of us who habitually leave out bits and pieces continue to do so. We justify our actions by the argument that we are not telling an outright lie and are in fact protecting our loved ones from unneccesary hurt. But are we? Are we really looking out for the interests of the ones we supposedly love, or are we selfishly doing what is easier for ourselves?
And those of us who are on the receiving end continue to accept it, consoling ourselves that it is not a big deal because omission is not necessarily a lie and there is nothing to be worried about because it is just the 1 time. But are we truly convinced? Can we stand up, hand on our heart and convincingly believe in the very core of our being that it is no big deal? Or are we the ones who are in fact lying to ourselves?
posted by Lady Luthien @ 11:04 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I dunno, babes. if it were my guy, of course I'd love to hear all the details no matter how minor. but when does it become an invasion of personal space and privacy, where no matter how close you are, the other person is entitled to it?
the suspicions are there, and the more we think about why we weren't told of the "left out" details, the more worked up we get. and we kick our own arses for being so sensitive about it. I know I have and continually do so to myself. sometimes... this is the thing that kills the relationship.
I think...
it all comes down to trust. how much do you trust to tell all, and how much does the other person trust to do the same. and for us to foster this trust, there has to be other things done to protect and nurture the feelings of security, the knowledge that no matter what happens that is not outrightly said, he comes back to you, and he's yours.
am I making sense?
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