I Love ...

... The strength and firmness of your hugs, especially when I cry. It makes me feel protected.
... To watch you play sports.
... That you can laugh at my silly bimbo-like ways and yet respect me and sometimes ask my opinion on important things.
... Walking hand-in-hand around the mall…window shopping, buying stuff, having lunch outdoors and being tempted by the Lecka Lecka ice-cream stand.
... The way you always let me have the chicken drumstick.
... How you say “It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m here” if I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare.
... That you remind me not to look at the newspapers whenever there are pictures of snakes in it.
... The text messages I get when I’m travelling.
... Little kisses
... You

What Lies Within A Lie?

"A lie is an intentionally false statement. To lie is to say something one believes to be false with the intention it be take for truth"

What strikes me the most about this description is that there is no mention of the issue of omission. When we intentionally omit to tell someone something because we think they won't like it or they will read too much into it, does that constitute a lie?

It was assumed that he was at home the whole day, but in fact, he went out with someone else. His loved one didn't specifically ask him where he was and he intentionally didn't offer the info. Is that a lie?

She said she was out having a grand time with a group of friends and names some of them when she is relating the story, but intentionally leaves out one or two that may raise a few questions. Is that a lie?

He said he did all these things today, but intentionally missed out a few extra stops he made along the way. Is that a lie?

I'm pretty sure that it happens all the time, to everyone. People do it because they subscribe to the adage "what they don't know won't hurt them". And 9 out of 10 times that is probably true. But the hurt felt for that 1 time when the truth is accidentally revealed is, in most cases, more than enough to negate the remaining 9 times when ignorance truly is bliss.

And yet it continues.

Those of us who habitually leave out bits and pieces continue to do so. We justify our actions by the argument that we are not telling an outright lie and are in fact protecting our loved ones from unneccesary hurt. But are we? Are we really looking out for the interests of the ones we supposedly love, or are we selfishly doing what is easier for ourselves?

And those of us who are on the receiving end continue to accept it, consoling ourselves that it is not a big deal because omission is not necessarily a lie and there is nothing to be worried about because it is just the 1 time. But are we truly convinced? Can we stand up, hand on our heart and convincingly believe in the very core of our being that it is no big deal? Or are we the ones who are in fact lying to ourselves?

Travel Thoughts

It’s been an inactive period for this blog lately and that’s likely to continue for a while as I’m travelling a lot this month. Just back from a trip to Holland, and as always, my mind did its normal flip-flops about all kinds of stuff. I’m not really sure why, but travelling really brings out the thinker in me. It’s probably a combination of the extended periods of time spent alone and being in a different environment that makes me reflect back on my own life and the things that happen around me.

Let me share…stuff that I thought about…in no particular form of coherence…

~ We all have pre-conceptions about the people we work with – their characters, abilities and whether or not we like them. But our knowledge of them is mostly limited to office interaction. Travelling with a colleague however allows you to witness them in different settings, outside of the office and that inevitably leads to some sort of learning about their niceties, peculiarities and general characteristics. And oftentimes, I believe, we find that our pre-conceived views be it positive or negative can be wrong. So, I guess it would be useful to not be too cocky about judging someone too soon.

~ The sight of about a dozen mat-sallehs shouting “yum-seng” and then proceeding to bottom’s up their glasses of wine is entertainment indeed. It is amazing how sporting and friendly everyone becomes when there is some element of alcohol involved!

~ Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You think? Somehow I don’t really buy it. Rather, I think absence makes 2 other things happen. One, you get to do all the things that you wouldn’t otherwise do when your partner is around and have a good time at it, which leads you to actually enjoy the absence more than being together. Two, you just get used to being apart such that there is little difference between that and being together anyway. Either way, fondness doesn’t quite come into the picture, no?

~ Flowers are a really beautiful thing. One of my friends gave me 3 roses while I was in Holland. I placed them in a glass by my bedside in the hotel room and everyday when I got back from work, I would see them and they would inevitably make me smile. When I got home from the trip, I walked into my bedroom and saw that my mother had bought a bouquet of flowers to welcome me home. It made me smile and I felt extremely touched by the lovely gesture.

~ I am an extremely anti-social person on the plane! And a serious creature of habit when I travel!

~ Working and living abroad would probably be a really good experience. And it’s something that I would do in a blink of an eye in the short term. But home will always be Malaysia. It is a good life here. Not extravagant, but good and we should really be more conscious of the little things that we have. It’s so easy for us to go out for a nice dinner with family or friends. Most working class people own a car, and can afford to drive it and park it. We can often rely on our parents to help us get through school and the early working years, and in return they can rely on us in their senior years, nobody is really left to fend for themselves. Homeless people do not just die on the streets because of the weather. And where in the world are you going to be able to find packet nasi lemak or lok lok in the wee hours of the morning?

So you see how my brains can be nowhere and everywhere at the same time? Reminds me of this quote: “Sometimes I think positively, and sometimes I’m not positive I’m thinking” :-)